Knowing what you want in life is the first step towards reaching what happiness looks like to you. When we learn to say yes when we mean yes and no when we mean no, we begin to build our lives based on our non-negotiables. Giving clarity to what we are willing to compromise on and what we are not is a healthy habit for happiness.

It might sound silly, but as soon as I started to define things that I would not negotiate on, I not only got clearer on what happiness means to me, but I also began living life based on what is truly important to me.

This carries over into my lifestyle and my relationships. I used to overlook and compromise on things that were actually really important to me.

I’m not saying we should go through life without a little give and take, but what I am saying is that we should define what we are willing to budge on and equally what we are not willing to compromise on. By doing so, it helps to make our decision making process so much easier.

For example, two of my non-negotiables are my sobriety and my faith.

I don’t drink and therefore I would never do anything that would compromise this. This is true for how I carry myself as well as the people I associate with. While I don’t mind being around drinking nor do I judge people for their choices, I am careful how often I allow myself to be in environments that are not conducive to my lifestyle. It is certainly also is a factor in who I will ultimately decide to spend my life with.

My faith is  another non-negotiable. I love God. I believe, wholeheartedly, that my life was saved and changed by him. Therefore, my life is centered around Him. I would not force my faith or my Christian beliefs on anyone, but the people I align myself with tend to have the same belief system as I do or they are open minded to learning.

I found that once I got clear on these simple non-negotiable, happiness requirements for me, it made my life easier to navigate based around them. These are black and white, yes or no’s that I do not waver on as I make my way through life.

Life is about relationships and they always require compromise. It is very important to take time to give definition to what is truly important to us. This level of self-awareness not only allows for more personal clarity, but it also enhances what we bring to the table in our dealings. It helps us to create healthy boundaries which translate into guidelines we can follow when making decisions about what we pursue.

I’ve noticed, as I have gotten older, I’m less willing to overlook or compromise on my bottom line. Mainly because I spent a lot of time doing work to reach where I am today and realized that it does not benefit my happiness when I compromise on the essentials I need to feel happy.

When we are clear on what makes us tick, what our needs are, the things we desire the most and ultimately what kind of life we want to live, it allows us to take better action towards achieving it all.

So, let me ask: What are your non-negotiables?

Are you clear on the things you’re not willing to compromise on to fulfill your quest for happiness?

Have you been compromising where you know you shouldn’t be?

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