Guest Post By: Amanda Silvas “I love drunk Amanda,” is what my college friends used to tell me. “Drunk Amanda” even used to have a name, aka “Claudia,” my alter ego. Almost every weekend in college she’d make an appearance and if she was out, then in my mind I had a pass on owning up to anything that happened … Read More
What It Really Took To Get Sober
When I got sober on August 17, 2008, after yet another happy hour turned sunrise, something inside of me had snapped. I remember standing on the balcony earlier that morning, just as I had run out of cocaine, chain smoking as the sun started to remind me what a degenerate person I had become, or at least that’s how it … Read More
How I Went From Cocaine Comedowns, Anxiety & Alcoholism To A Sober Life I Love
I can remember the time when my Saturday afternoons were filled with day drinking at the pool to nurse the cocaine comedown I had just come off of. Friday’s were for happy hours that turned into sunrise, so naturally Saturday became an extension of the party. After getting a couple hours of bird chirping, soul sucking, halfway sleeping but more … Read More
The Moment You Know You Have To Begin Again
On August 17, 2008 I dropped to my knees in a prayer born out of desperation as a result of my cocaine and alcohol addiction coupled with Anxiety & Panic Disorder. It had all become too heavy to carry. In that moment I knew everything had to change; that I had to start over and try something new. After that … Read More
4 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Addicted
No one begins their drinking or drugging career thinking they’d like to develop an addiction. You don’t start out boozing, snorting lines of coke or taking pills with the notion that you would like to make this your daily routine. It’s not something you aspire to work towards or some glorious thing you set out to do. “They” tell you … Read More
Dear Alcohol, This Is Goodbye.
Oh dear “friend” Alcohol, what a long, weary road we have traveled together… When I first met you at the ripe age of 15, I had no idea what an impact you would make on my life – and not the good kind, unfortunately. I hate to tell you, but no one starts out their relationship to you with the … Read More
Sobriety Is A Wake Up Call
When I got sober almost 9 years ago, I had no idea what was coming next. My initial goal was to stop using cocaine and in order to do so I knew I also had to quit drinking. What I didn’t realize is that I was answering a much bigger call. My sobriety hasn’t just been a call to clean up … Read More
When I First Quit Drinking It Seemed Impossible
When I think back to when I quit drinking and using it seems like another lifetime or a dream. At the time, it seemed like I was attempting the impossible. Now, looking back, I realize it was the necessary step to lead me to my current reality. There are SO many things that actually would have been impossible if I … Read More
I Don’t Drink Because It Doesn’t Make Me Feel Good
As I approach almost 9 years of sobriety, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be sober: to live a life without alcohol or drugs. I can’t tell you how many of my coaching clients come to me saying they wish they could just be “normal,” with drinking. Or that they didn’t think they had a … Read More
8.5 Years Sober Today Reminds Me Of What’s Possible
Exactly 8.5 years ago today I made a decision to quit drinking and using cocaine. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I didn’t want to experience the anxiety, panic, shame, guilt, exhaustion, defeat or self loathing for one minute longer. I prayed for a miracle that day – not knowing what I was doing and not … Read More