My plan was to put out some epic post this week in honor of my soberversary on Monday. As I sat in a bubble bath tonight, I contemplated not writing at all or doing it tomorrow or this weekend. But then I decided to just be real with you. The only epic I’m feeling lately is epically overwhelmed and emotional.
So, I thought to myself that this is probably a good time for me to take this moment in for all it contains and press the pause button to allow the bittersweet opening of being ….
Raw.
Uncut.
Bottomless.
Unraveled.
There’s a pull on my heart to take a break and allow myself to feel the waves of life right now. I have been wading in some deep waters and a lot of emotions and pieces of me are coming up and shifting around. It’s messy and it’s scary but it’s also necessary and I know it is transforming me.
So, I’m going to honor myself by taking a needed pause this week on the blog and by letting myself off the hook a bit. My soul is thirsty for introspection and connection with myself.
And I’m going to be unapologetic about it – just like the pizza I ate for dinner and the laundry I left undone and the emails I left unanswered.
I need a time out…
A break from clever.
A break from perfection.
A break from seriousness.
From the busyness. Even if only in my mind.
I can’t help but wonder if perhaps some of this resonates with you in your life.
Where might life be calling you to just take a break to rest, relax or reflect?
What are you being really hard on yourself about that maybe you can just put down for a day or a week?
What are the things you need for yourself?
How can you feel more connected to you?
Where can you practice self-love and allow yourself to really and actually feel the feelings and emotions you are having right now?
These are all questions I’m asking myself and practicing as well. I invite you to join me in this time out from life and commitments and deadlines and drama and things that weigh us down. I’m going to kick my feet up and breathe. I’m going to allow myself time to feel and to be real.
To be human.
To reconnect to parts of me that feel disconnected.
And to allow the birth of what is trying to come through be what it is.
Sweet surrender. Try it on with me. Let’s just go there and delight in some good old soul nourishment.
Sometimes going into the trenches and wandering the valleys of our hearts leads us to the mountain tops we’ve been dreaming of. It is in the stillness with ourselves and our creator that some of the most remarkable revelations occur. And while we might not always be ready, we can know that we are prepared. God never brings us to it if he can’t bring us through it.
As this time of year rolls around for me to celebrate my accomplishments in sobriety, one thing I am reminded of is that I was seeking connection in my drinking and drug use. The connection to others and to myself.
The way we become most connected is by going inside. So, in I go. For me, this means doing some business with the man upstairs, in nature and on the dance floor.
Sacred space – let’s dance. I’m ready for you to drain me, refresh me and elevate me to where I’m going next.
With that said, I’m not going to read this post 10 times either to make sure it is not flawed. If it is then, so be it. Such is life.
I will see you on the other side.
Namaste.